Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Breaking Bread in the New Year

Artisan Bread

On January 24, I am absurdly late in the tradition of the long look back at 2011 while gliding forward on a magic carpet ride into a future of resolutions and hopes. My life in 2011 can be charted on the sensitive stylus of a zig-zagging seismograph. In the spring, I was lying on my belly, on damp and cold ground, entranced by a wiry thatch of Siberian squill, of a blue so rarely found in nature that it taunted me with the idea that it was fake. It wasn't.

True Blue - Siberian Squill

By the winter, I was on my belly again, sick with fever so galloping that it came in on those four white horses, taunting me, too, that it was fake. It wasn't. Either. For twenty-three straight hours, I could not sleep, I could not eat, I could not complete sentences. Yet I was lucid enough as I levitated. I met Roethke's ghost. He wrapped me close in the swaddling cloth of his wisdom, that dark time of his, of all of us.

There was a photograph that helped me through, too. I thought of Frodo going West for good with the Elves because he was so, so weary from his tribulations and journey. I wanted to round that bend in the water and never return; I wanted to heal, no matter how long it took. Yet I did return. When the sweats, and the shivering, and the shakes were chased away, and my mind fused back into my skull, I knew I could not/would not go back to life as usual.

So I am slowing things down to retool my online life to ensure that I don't fall off the map again. If anything, I will be better connected to you by being better connected to myself. I cannot foretell the future, even with a crystal ball, but I do know that you need to look in before you can look out.

Crystal Ball

I'll be back early tomorrow before the start of BWW with some quick tips to help make your camera see the light better, too.

11 comments:

Lynne said...

The bread looks awesome, the flowers are beautiful and in your crystal ball, I see a great year for you. Glad you are well!

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

Gorgeous clicks! Take your time... Will be posting tomorrow, as always.

Cheers,

Rosa

Anh said...

*hugs*

Lovely bread, and even more lovely thoughts! Take your time with things, I have learned!

Anonymous said...

You manage to capture the real color of the Scilla.
That is not easy.
When that little flower bloom on Monte Baldo, you see fields of intense blue. Looks so delicate yet it is very very resistant of cold, snow and ice.
I love it.
This is a lovely post, Susan and I agree with Rosa.
Take you time, and I will pay attention to all tips you can give.
Baciusss
brii
ps. blogger dosen't let me comment with my wordpress account :(

bellini said...

Can't wait to hear the camera tips. I need all the help I can get with my "newish to me"camera.

Lisa said...

A lovely post Susan with such stunning photos. I can't wait to see what you come up with for 2012.

Cindystar said...

Lovely words, Susan, gorgeous bread, amazing flowers.
I agree with you, first need to look in before you can look out, so take all the time :-)
And ... can't wait to catch all your suggestions for my camera! :-)
A big hug.

Simona said...

The NZ photo and your reference to Frodo reminded me of our (too short) trip to NZ several years ago. Our itinerary had not been informed by Peter Jackson's choices, but we visited a number of places he had chosen and others that were just as magical. Maybe 2012 is the year to go on vacation down under?

Rhonda said...

Beautifully written and the photos, gorgeous. I'm ready to see "the light"

BongMom said...

Take your time Susan and take care of yourself. Very nicely written post.

D Pimborough said...

I would like to say that it is a small and humble thing to take a photograph but a great and wonderful thing that it helped you in your time of need. Thank you.